TTC again after Loss at 6 weeks


#1

Hello, My name is Amanda and you can call me that or Lovin’ which ever you prefer. My husband and I have decided to go ahead (with consent from my RE) to begin TTC asap. My last beta was on the 11th of Nov. and it was 11 so they told me I would either ovulate or start my cycle soon. I am taking OPK’s starting yesterday. I do have digital tests so I have no question if the line is dark enough. After the D&C which was 11/9/10 I bled just a tiny bit and then spotted when I wiped for a day or 2. Then nothing at all. Well today I had to go to my husbands Grandfather’s funeral and because I am still a little swollen in my tummy I had to wear a body suit that sucks you in. It was major tight but I didn’t want any questions being asked. Some of the family didn’t know anything. Anyway, I noticed that when I went to the restroom I had some brown during wiping, and I did have a little on my panty liner. On our way home I felt a little “slip” out and when I got home and got out of the clothes I am having some pink now. It’s when I wipe and a little in the liner. I am wondering if it is from the tight thing I had on kinda pushing stuff out or if I am actually getting AF. I mean if it is AF that is fine too because that means I know when to start taking the OPK’s again. I’m just not sure if it is or not.

I will tell you this. I did not have much bleeding during the D&C and my RE said I may not bleed at all from the D&C since there was not a lot of blood during the procedure. He just said to call on CD 1. I don’t know what to expect with this first period. If anyone can help me I would appreciate it.

Also he said we could start trying again 5 days after the d&c which will be tomorrow. We are doing a non medicated, natural cycle or 2 before doing another IUI. I will take another OPK tonight around 9 since that is when I took it last night and see what it says.

I hope to have some women join me in this thread. It means a lot to have support.


#2

The past few days I have felt lost on here. It is like I do not fit in anywhere. I post on things trying to participate in a thread of starting another cycle only to be overlooked. I start this one hoping to get some type of response from someone that may be in the same position I am in. I took myself out of my July due date thread because I no longer will be having a baby in July.

I feel like everywhere I go on here I am alone and that is just a bad feeling and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Before I lost my baby I had cycle buddies, and I had 2ww buddies, and then when I got pregnant I had due date buddies. Now I feel like I have no one!

I am ready to try again. I am not a freak just because I lost my baby and I am ready to try again, and I do need support through this. Even if I don’t have other women in my exact position, I know there are women that are trying to conceive.

I have had my chat buddies that I can talk to everyday and I am so thankful for those girls. They are all so wonderful and supportive. I just need to have someone that is in the position of “Hey, I don’t know when I am going to have my period or when I am going to ovulate again, but I am ready to start trying as soon as possible.” Maybe there is someone on this thread that is where I am. It would sure make this process a little more bearable.


#3

Hi Amanda
Yep, thats unfortunately how it goes on here. They get pregnant then leave. Look into threads on 20’, 30’s trying to conceive, RPL, etc. Thats where I have found the most comfort and friendship. Sure, some do come and go, but for the most part all of us stay and support. We have all felt like you do, hang in there! The individual date threads of IUI’s, IVF’s,etc are high traffic and people leave asap when their BFP comes.

Good Luck with your upcoming cycle.


#4

[quote=DRB]Hi Amanda
Yep, thats unfortunately how it goes on here. They get pregnant then leave. Look into threads on 20’, 30’s trying to conceive, RPL, etc. Thats where I have found the most comfort and friendship. Sure, some do come and go, but for the most part all of us stay and support. We have all felt like you do, hang in there! The individual date threads of IUI’s, IVF’s,etc are high traffic and people leave asap when their BFP comes.

Good Luck with your upcoming cycle.[/quote]

Denise: Thank you so much for your reply. I will absolutely look into those threads. I need real support, not just a “limited time offer.” Thanks again for understanding.


#5

Hi Amanda,

Hang in there, you’re in the toughest place you could be right now as your loss is still so very fresh.

As far as support and people going through similar experiences, posting in the pregnancy loss thread is definitely the right place to be as those are the ladies who’ve been through (or are still going through) what you’re trying to deal with.

You will find support and people who get it on here, but unfortunately it can take a little longer for the responses to come as there are just fewer people on this part of the forum than on the cycle buddy/IUI/IVF threads.

The pregnancy loss forum was my first introduction to fertilityforums after my loss in June, and only after posting on here for a month did I start posting on the August IUI thread, and I was amazed at how active the IUI threads were compared to the pregnancy loss ones! The pregnancy loss threads may get 1 or 2 responses a day (max), while the cycle buddy type threads will often have 20-30 or more responses per day. So, I understand why if you’re going the other way (i.e from IUI threads to pregnancy loss) it can seem like all of a sudden you’re alone and nobody’s listening, but we’re here there’s just less of us :slight_smile:

When you log on you and see how many people are viewing a certain thread at a given time and its way less for this part of the forum. Sucks when you really need support, but I guess it’s just one of those things.

Anyways, if you haven’t already done so, read through as many of the threads as you can on here, as I found it helped me a lot to see how other people dealt with the feelings I was having, so even if there was nobody else in my position at this exact moment, there were others who had been there.

Sending lots of hugs your way…


#6

Hi Amanda,

I actually did want to reply specifically to your original post when I saw it last night, but never got a chance to before heading out. So, thought I’d respond when I logged in today…nothing earth shattering but just to say that the spotting/bleeding you had the other day may still be some left over from the d & c. I know after mine, the spotting was sporadic like that, and I would think it was over and then would also get several “squirts” in a day and then nothing else. I think I actually had a whole day with nothing, and then some more the following day. Then it was a month before I got my actual period. I didn’t track ovulation in that time, so I can’t comment on when/if it happend.

Anyways, if that was still d&c bleeding, hopefully it’s the end of it and you’ll be ovulating soon.

Good luck…


#7

[quote=SassyGurl]Hi Amanda,

Hang in there, you’re in the toughest place you could be right now as your loss is still so very fresh.

As far as support and people going through similar experiences, posting in the pregnancy loss thread is definitely the right place to be as those are the ladies who’ve been through (or are still going through) what you’re trying to deal with.

You will find support and people who get it on here, but unfortunately it can take a little longer for the responses to come as there are just fewer people on this part of the forum than on the cycle buddy/IUI/IVF threads.

The pregnancy loss forum was my first introduction to fertilityforums after my loss in June, and only after posting on here for a month did I start posting on the August IUI thread, and I was amazed at how active the IUI threads were compared to the pregnancy loss ones! The pregnancy loss threads may get 1 or 2 responses a day (max), while the cycle buddy type threads will often have 20-30 or more responses per day. So, I understand why if you’re going the other way (i.e from IUI threads to pregnancy loss) it can seem like all of a sudden you’re alone and nobody’s listening, but we’re here there’s just less of us :slight_smile:

When you log on you and see how many people are viewing a certain thread at a given time and its way less for this part of the forum. Sucks when you really need support, but I guess it’s just one of those things.

Anyways, if you haven’t already done so, read through as many of the threads as you can on here, as I found it helped me a lot to see how other people dealt with the feelings I was having, so even if there was nobody else in my position at this exact moment, there were others who had been there.

Sending lots of hugs your way…[/quote]

Sassy: Thank you so much. I think what you have just said is completely correct. It’s not that no one is there, it’s just that not as many are going through what I am. I know there are women that are, and that have. I am thankful for knowing there are people that care enough to read. I also know that sometimes people just don’t know what to say and therefore it’s hard to comment when you don’t know what to say to someone. I think I am just hormonal right now and I don’t know how to feel. I am sure my body is going to even out soon and then maybe I will stop being so testy and I won’t let things bother me so much.

Thanks again for your reply. How are things going with you?


#8

hey lovin u know i am here for u

hey girl,
I just wanted to let u know I had the same thing after my d&c . the spotting would come and go day after day but eventually stopped a week and a half later. I am now having a lot of cm and the past few days its been EWCM so we are bding like crazy… well ok not like crazy but we are doing it. lol hang in there hun. I don’t read the threads very often on here but I came across yours and will be checking in on you as often as I can. Stay strong! We will have our babies soon… and no u are not crazy for wanting to start ttc asap… dh and I are the same way. I felt the same way like I was somehow disrespecting my baby that we lost but we are just ready to have a healthy baby and we know there is some reason why it happened and we may never know why!
I am here if u need to talk! :preg: this will be us soon


#9

Hi Amanda,

Yes, your hormones are completely out of whack at this point, so that’s definitely part of the reason for why you’re feeling the way you are. And actually, because it will take some time for the hormones to calm down it will probably be hard to time any sort of BD you’re doing this month, as any of the signals you’re used to getting may not be telling you the right things. I read up a lot on this after my mc, and remember reading that OPKs may not be effective in telling you when you’re ovulating, and if you chart your temps they will be all over the place. So if you’re set on trying before you get your period, I would say just make sure you’re having sex every two days (as soon as it’s okay for you to do so based on what your Dr told you) so that if you do ovulate you’ll have some sperm ready and waiting. Here’s a site that helped me immensely in explaining the physical changes your body goes thru w. miscarriage, d&c and when you start to try again. You may have seen it already, but just in case:

First Few Days

On the hormonal rollercoaster end of things, I had a chemical pregnancy in Sept. My beta never got above 11, and my period was only 2 or 3 days late, so this was a super early loss. I started charting my temperatures for the first time when I got my period that time, and they were completely messed up for the first few days! I had some huge spikes and drops in the first few days, and it was probably 7 to 10 days before things settled down and my chart started to look more normal. I’m now charting for the second month and the first part of my cycle looks way more normal than it did after the chemical. I’m just mentioning this as further evidence that even very early in pregnancy, hormones are already doing weird and wonderful things to your body, and it will take some time for things to regulate again.

Good luck with the healing and trying again. Be as sad and angry as you need to be, and don’t be afraid to take time to yourself or cut out social engagements when you need to. If there was ever a time to be selfish, this is it!


#10

[quote=sunsetgrl76]hey girl,
I just wanted to let u know I had the same thing after my d&c . the spotting would come and go day after day but eventually stopped a week and a half later. I am now having a lot of cm and the past few days its been EWCM so we are bding like crazy… well ok not like crazy but we are doing it. lol hang in there hun. I don’t read the threads very often on here but I came across yours and will be checking in on you as often as I can. Stay strong! We will have our babies soon… and no u are not crazy for wanting to start ttc asap… dh and I are the same way. I felt the same way like I was somehow disrespecting my baby that we lost but we are just ready to have a healthy baby and we know there is some reason why it happened and we may never know why!
I am here if u need to talk! :preg: this will be us soon[/quote]

Sunset: Thank you so much sweetie. I know you are hear for me and I am the same way with you. You should join the group that I joined today. It is RLP there are 2 of them on here and I am in both. It is helping me out so much to know there are other women out there just like us. They have the fears and the uncertainty just as we do. Please feel free to come over. Strength comes in numbers and we do have a lot of women on here that know how we feel. Thank you so much for your response. :grouphug:


#11

[quote=SassyGurl]Hi Amanda,

Yes, your hormones are completely out of whack at this point, so that’s definitely part of the reason for why you’re feeling the way you are. And actually, because it will take some time for the hormones to calm down it will probably be hard to time any sort of BD you’re doing this month, as any of the signals you’re used to getting may not be telling you the right things. I read up a lot on this after my mc, and remember reading that OPKs may not be effective in telling you when you’re ovulating, and if you chart your temps they will be all over the place. So if you’re set on trying before you get your period, I would say just make sure you’re having sex every two days (as soon as it’s okay for you to do so based on what your Dr told you) so that if you do ovulate you’ll have some sperm ready and waiting. Here’s a site that helped me immensely in explaining the physical changes your body goes thru w. miscarriage, d&c and when you start to try again. You may have seen it already, but just in case:

First Few Days

On the hormonal rollercoaster end of things, I had a chemical pregnancy in Sept. My beta never got above 11, and my period was only 2 or 3 days late, so this was a super early loss. I started charting my temperatures for the first time when I got my period that time, and they were completely messed up for the first few days! I had some huge spikes and drops in the first few days, and it was probably 7 to 10 days before things settled down and my chart started to look more normal. I’m now charting for the second month and the first part of my cycle looks way more normal than it did after the chemical. I’m just mentioning this as further evidence that even very early in pregnancy, hormones are already doing weird and wonderful things to your body, and it will take some time for things to regulate again.

Good luck with the healing and trying again. Be as sad and angry as you need to be, and don’t be afraid to take time to yourself or cut out social engagements when you need to. If there was ever a time to be selfish, this is it![/quote]

Sassy: I know you are right about the hormones. I will have to check out that website you posted. I haven’t read that but I for sure will. I wanted to also invite you to the RLP groups. That is a wonderful place. I am so glad that I was invited there today. I think I am going to do what you said and just have intercourse and see what happens. I know I have had hot flashes since yesterday off and on and it is about to drive me nuts. I think these are worse than the clomid hot flashes. I guess the only reason I was wanting to do the OPK’s is so if I do get pregnant soon I have a better estimation of when I got pregnant. Otherwise I will only have a d&c date to go by so I can tell them it was sometime after that. My RE told me we could resume intercourse 5 days after the d&c which is today, so if I can get my kids in bed early tonight then maybe me and my sweet hubby can have some much needed a lone time.


#12

Thanks again for your reply. How are things going with you?

Thanks for asking :slight_smile: I would say that overall I’m doing well, though definitely still some ups and downs. But I think at this point, most of the downs aren’t specifically related to my loss anymore, but more the combination of the fact that I’m STILL ttc, and that I’m not pregnant. And recently my negative emotions have been more along anger or bitterness at the situation and at other people getting pregnant easily and maintaining their pregnancies, and less feelings of sadness at what could have been.

I actually realized just today how anger has been my overriding negative emotion lately, and thought that maybe it actually was due to some leftover processing of grief from my loss. So I looked up the 5 stages of loss, thinking anger would be near the end, but it’s actually one of the first stages! Grief comes later. Oh well, it was a good theory.

But all that being said, I’m also feeling very positive about my chances this month as I go for my next IUI in the next few days. For the first time of my 3 medicated IUIs I’ve got 2 large follicles instead of just 1, so I feel that my chances are twice as good as they were before. And before even with the 1 follicle, I was able to conceive both times (mc and chemical), so I feel like the IUI + clomid combo does work for me. And I’m hoping that with the extra follicle, even if one of the eggs gets fertilized but things don’t work out, hopefully the other one will be fine.

I do really want this month, or next month’s IUI to work as then I will be right before my original due date and I really want to be pregnant again by then. So I’m trying to take things one day at a time, but the fear of things not working is definitely in the back of my head.

I’m also preparing myself for some sadness over the holidays, as the Christmas time period was so tied in my mind to my first pregnancy as I should have been about to pop around that time. And that meant we couldn’t travel to see our families for the first time ever. So as that time approaches, while I’m very excited that we’ve still decided to stay put and start our own Christmas tradition, I’m also sad that I won’t be putting finishing touches on my nursery but could be contemplating doing IVF in the near year instead. But like I said, really trying to keep it one day at a time.

Hang in there, it’s not easy but this forum’s a great place to just vent and get things out.


#13

[quote=SassyGurl]Thanks for asking :slight_smile: I would say that overall I’m doing well, though definitely still some ups and downs. But I think at this point, most of the downs aren’t specifically related to my loss anymore, but more the combination of the fact that I’m STILL ttc, and that I’m not pregnant. And recently my negative emotions have been more along anger or bitterness at the situation and at other people getting pregnant easily and maintaining their pregnancies, and less feelings of sadness at what could have been.

I actually realized just today how anger has been my overriding negative emotion lately, and thought that maybe it actually was due to some leftover processing of grief from my loss. So I looked up the 5 stages of loss, thinking anger would be near the end, but it’s actually one of the first stages! Grief comes later. Oh well, it was a good theory.

But all that being said, I’m also feeling very positive about my chances this month as I go for my next IUI in the next few days. For the first time of my 3 medicated IUIs I’ve got 2 large follicles instead of just 1, so I feel that my chances are twice as good as they were before. And before even with the 1 follicle, I was able to conceive both times (mc and chemical), so I feel like the IUI + clomid combo does work for me. And I’m hoping that with the extra follicle, even if one of the eggs gets fertilized but things don’t work out, hopefully the other one will be fine.

I do really want this month, or next month’s IUI to work as then I will be right before my original due date and I really want to be pregnant again by then. So I’m trying to take things one day at a time, but the fear of things not working is definitely in the back of my head.

I’m also preparing myself for some sadness over the holidays, as the Christmas time period was so tied in my mind to my first pregnancy as I should have been about to pop around that time. And that meant we couldn’t travel to see our families for the first time ever. So as that time approaches, while I’m very excited that we’ve still decided to stay put and start our own Christmas tradition, I’m also sad that I won’t be putting finishing touches on my nursery but could be contemplating doing IVF in the near year instead. But like I said, really trying to keep it one day at a time.

Hang in there, it’s not easy but this forum’s a great place to just vent and get things out.[/quote]

You know I do know exactly how you feel. I know that my stages so far have been, disbelief, sadness, anger, and then just out of it all together. I finally crawled up in the bed with my mother the other night and cried on her chest for the longest time. She stroked my hair and held me tight and rocked me like I was still a little baby. I have to say that I felt much better. She told me that time will heal my pain and that she doesn’t know what I am going through because she has never been through it, but she said I am her baby no matter how big I get or how old I am, and she does feel my pain. I know she does and I am so thankful that I do have my mother while I am going through this.

I pray that you get your BFP this month and that you get to go through this holiday season with the warmth of being pregnant. I know that we never have that fear leave us, but as we make it day by day and the babies are still growing and getting bigger it does give us hope. I know that has to be hard on you.
I am so glad you have 2 big follies this time! That is exciting! I feel the same way you do about getting pregnant so soon. If it happens in the next few weeks or month I will only be about a month away from my original due date. That would be the ultimate gift this holiday season!

We will all just have to stick together and each day we should post our feelings and help each other. On our good days we get to celebrate and on our bad days we can lift each other up. That is what makes this such a supportive place.


#14

Thanks Amanda!

Hopefully this month will bring both news for both of us. I think a BFP in early December would be the best Christmas present ever :slight_smile:

Have fun with the bd tonight.


#15

[quote=SassyGurl]Thanks Amanda!

Hopefully this month will bring both news for both of us. I think a BFP in early December would be the best Christmas present ever :slight_smile:

Have fun with the bd tonight.[/quote]

Fun is an understatement…hahaha! My poor husband is deprived. I am actually kinda nervous. Feels like the first time or something…hahaha!


#16

Amanda,

You are not alone. We are here for you. I understand how you feel as I have been through the exact ups and downs. Your mother is so wonderful and supportive.
I had on and off spotting for about two weeks after the major bleeding. It has been five weeks since I took the cypotec. My af still has not arrived. My hcg two weeks ago was still 20. I had a lot of cervical mucus recently, like what you have during your fertile days. I know some women got pregnant 3 weeks after miscarriage, so it definitely can happen, but if you are still spotting, be careful with bd. The last thing you want to get is infection. Good luck with your future cycle.


#17

[quote=Babyrabbit]Amanda,

You are not alone. We are here for you. I understand how you feel as I have been through the exact ups and downs. Your mother is so wonderful and supportive.
I had on and off spotting for about two weeks after the major bleeding. It has been five weeks since I took the cypotec. My af still has not arrived. My hcg two weeks ago was still 20. I had a lot of cervical mucus recently, like what you have during your fertile days. I know some women got pregnant 3 weeks after miscarriage, so it definitely can happen, but if you are still spotting, be careful with bd. The last thing you want to get is infection. Good luck with your future cycle.[/quote]

I am actually glad you said that about the infection because I was honestly wondering if it was ok to bd while still spotting a little. It’s not like it is constant and hasn’t been at all since the d&c. Most of the time when I wipe there is nothing there at all. I did notice earlier when I went to the bathroom I had a little tiny piece of tissue I guess you would call it on the paper. It was pinkish brown color. I may actually wait another few days before we bd just to be on the safe side. The OR nurse said 10 days but my RE and my RE nurse said 5 so I don’t know which to go off of since my RE is the one who did the d&c. Today has been 5 days after surgery and 6 days since surgery, but I do not want to get an infection for sure. That wouldn’t be good at all.
Thanks for your support and the information.