Using DOnor Sperm and anxiety


I had my first IUI last week using donor sperm. I’m sort of freaking out. Coming close to having panic attacks, waking up in the middle of the night. i am married and DH has been very supportive. In fact, donor sperm was his idea. I thought I was ok with it, but I"m really freaking out. Anyone experience this and get through it? IS this a normal part of the process? I’m afraid I’m going crazy and will never make it through 9 months sane, if I am pregnant.


NNN2011: You are having a perfectly normal reaction, and you are NOT going crazy. I am 25 weeks pregnant using donor eggs and donor sperm (my eggs are old, and my husband has a genetic disorder we do not want to pass on). I am so glad your DH is so supportive, and I know he will make a wonderful father. I think your fears come from thoughts that even though he says DNA doesn’t matter, he won’t bond with the baby and he will leave. It’s important to voice your fears, whatever they may be with your DH and possibly a therapist - there is no reason you should suffer.

I haven’t had my baby yet, but my DH is already bonding with our boy - he sings the ABC song to him every night, and is doing most of the research about my pregnancy week by week. We talk openly about the fact that our baby will not have our genes, and how we will handle telling him (we feel it is important for our son to know the story of where he came from, so he will not find out accidentally down the road and feel betrayed). Still our focus is on the fact that he is OUR son, and I am sure he will have many of my DH’s mannerisms and traits.

Unrelated to donor sperm/eggs, I have had severe panic attacks since I was in college. I was able to control them with breathing techniques and behavioral therapy for ten years before I needed medication (which I am still on). I doubt you will need to take any meds for your anxiety, but talking with someone and learning how to calm your breathing will make a world of difference. If you are pregnant, you will make it through. Communication with your DH is key. I hope this helped a little.


My clinic had me speak to their therapist regarding the use of DS… She actually said it was normal and that it’s from the “unknown” and that it goes away once the baby is born… :slight_smile:

She also said something about depression after the baby is born, similar to post partum, with the added twist that “you did this to yourself” (I’m single…)

All in all… Your baby is YOUR baby… Try and enjoy this beautiful time.

I wish I was in your shoes already!!


Thanks Ladies, that really does help. (deep breathing)


Why are you so glad that none of your procedures worked? Have you chosen to go another route?


Perfectly normal. I have two beautiful twins from DE/DS. When I was pregnant, I had a couple of dreams that the babies came out looking like trolls. The troll dolls with the orange hair. LOL! All this infertility crap gets to us at times, dosn’t it? Believe me, my husband and I could not be happier with our beautiful children. We also have bio kids and adopted kids. The love we feel for all 7 is the same. I wish you :babydust: