What to choose? What to expect?


#1

Hello girls,

Although I’m a new to thhis forum, I decided to post my own story, because I have no one to share with…and I do hope you can understand me cause I really need your support and advices.

In the late 90s I got married to a nice guy, who I thought was my one and only, but I was wrong… In fact, he was cheating on me all the time right behind my back. I was exhausted 27-year-old female and as it was my first marriage I tried to save it but it’s only me who did. Soon he left me,but I wasn’t aloneas his last present was chlamydia. The infection became more serious and caused pelvic inflammatory disease. Of course, there is a treatment but I was warned that some problems with pregnancy may be occurred.

Now I am 45 and I’m not able to get pregnant yet…My new husband wants to have children and he’s even ready to adopt one, but you know, I want to have my own kid. I found out about IVF procedure with DE and it seems to me quite attractive. But I’m a bit scared and confused. What if it won’t give any results? I know it costs a lot but what about guarantees? It’s better to start with fresh or frozen ET? I’d like to have some advices from those, who have experience.


#2

Hi, hun! I’m sorry you’ve found yourself here. I definitely have the thing to share.
I’m 40 yo. Dx - PCOS, blocked fallopian tubes. TTC starting October 2014.
I was told 5% after our last cycle failed only getting 1 egg out of me. Then we were going donor that gave us 75%. But I have heard stories where bad responders and low egg reserve people it has worked! It only takes 1 as they say. If we had the money we might have tried again with my eggs but we figured we just wanted to be parents one way or another and that gave us the best chance. Soon we found eviternity.org, had our 1st free consultation in London.
In a while we booked the guaranteed program of 5 shots for 9900 euro. In case of 5 failures they refund ALL money paid! All meds and selective reduction are included into the package price.
I have no experience with frozen cycles. Had 2 fresh ones, the 2nd being BFP. Will be pleased to help you with any sort of the questions. Good luck and keep us posting X


#3

[QUOTE=“SamanthaSun, post: 1868752, member: 86634”]Hi, hun! I’m sorry you’ve found yourself here. I definitely have the thing to share.
I’m 40 yo. Dx - PCOS, blocked fallopian tubes. TTC starting October 2014.
I was told 5% after our last cycle failed only getting 1 egg out of me. Then we were going donor that gave us 75%. But I have heard stories where bad responders and low egg reserve people it has worked! It only takes 1 as they say. If we had the money we might have tried again with my eggs but we figured we just wanted to be parents one way or another and that gave us the best chance. Soon we found eviternity.org, had our 1st free consultation in London.
In a while we booked the guaranteed program of 5 shots for 9900 euro. In case of 5 failures they refund ALL money paid! All meds and selective reduction are included into the package price.
I have no experience with frozen cycles. Had 2 fresh ones, the 2nd being BFP. Will be pleased to help you with any sort of the questions. Good luck and keep us posting X[/QUOTE]
Thank you Samantha! I’m sorry you also faced that problem, hope we can cope with it asap ;).
I don’t think having ivf in de is that bad if it has more chances for success, right? 5 shots for 10k is a pretty nice price especially if it’s possible to have all money back if no result. So, they have a clinic there, in London, right? Hm…Is it so easy, you know you just contact them and tell them you want this very program? That’s it?


#4

[QUOTE=“minerva71, post: 1868777, member: 87369”]Thank you Samantha! I’m sorry you also faced that problem, hope we can cope with it asap ;).
I don’t think having ivf in de is that bad if it has more chances for success, right? 5 shots for 10k is a pretty nice price especially if it’s possible to have all money back if no result. So, they have a clinic there, in London, right? Hm…Is it so easy, you know you just contact them and tell them you want this very program? That’s it?[/QUOTE]


#5

Hi, I am sorry you are going thought this. No dir experiences, but I myself know a few ladies who have undergone their ivf with de treatment at Polish top ivf clinic in Gdansk and got pregnant at their first cycle.


#6

Hi, Minerva71! This is not exactly how it works. You’d better go to eviternity.org and read more info about it. There you’ll find every other detail of what they offer. And if it suits you - then yep you just contact them. They’ll define the date for the consultation and you’ll clarify everything during a face-to-face talk with the patient coordinator. You may also visit the clinic’s forum mother-surrogate.info - there is loads of useful information. It’s really worth considering the place. Wishing you the best X


#7

hi! answering your question about frozen of fresh. I went for fresh (this is the policy of my clinic, they do not perform ivf treatment with frozen eggs unless there is a necessity). and I’ve conceived right away. but i don’t really know if it is due to fresh embryos used or not, but my clinic is all about going for fresh they will be persuading you to go for it rather than for frozen cycle. but I just think that it is a difference in opinions because you see most of the clinics in the world support freezing embryos for the following ET (FET) and they say that there are better chances for BFP. but the clinic I’ve used is a bit different, because they won’t freeze your embryos but unlike other clinics, it transfers up to 3 embryos to boost the chances.
just my thoughts on why I got BFP out of the first try.


#8

Hi, sorry you faced that problem. I think you adoption is good for those who don’t have any chances or money to try another way. You don’t know about genetical parents of that baby and about potential illness or manner of behaviour. You should think about it carefully.
I don’t know much about ivf with DE but I think it is a good idea. You’ll have a baby and you will carry him or her., feel the heartbeat, that’s amazing. To the best of my knowledge you’d better to start with fresh embryos. I know one clinic that probably can help you. They have affordable prices and great results. If you are intersted I can answer your questions. wish you good luck


#9

Hello, girls! Well, it’s been a while since my last visit. Well, I was a real newbie in all these questions and now I have few updates. First of all, I had an examination and my OB/GYN told me I could have pretty high chances with donor egg ivf. Well, my dh and I agreed. I know, some women can’t take it, I mean this donor part of a baby. However it wasn’t too difficult for us and we went to the length of de ivf. The next step was to find a clinic abroad because my age is a bit unsitable…Thanks to your advices I looked closely to Ukrainian clinics and having done a thorough examination we chose one. It was a nice place with full services for a great price. Now it’s the last day of my 2ww…Tomorrow is beta. I’m scared as hell…I hope you all are doing well. x


#10

donor part of the baby might be a total no for someone but as for me I was all for it if the clinic would be open for the donors selection. and I have chosen the clinic where it was possible to choose the donor and they have even allowed me to look at the donors for 2 weeks. and choose three of them. and even thought i know that it is the donor’s baby I am all calm and stuff because the donor looks exactly like me. this was incredible


#11

yes! it’s individual issue and I didn’t even think it could be too hard or even impossible option for infertile couples. It’s me who is new in all this. But many women have been through so many rounds…and they’re still ttc on their own or without donor egg. It’s incredibly brave as for me.
Isn’t it a common thing? Choosing donor must be a usual thing, right? I had an access to donor database and among hundreds of nice women I chose those, who I felt were great. It’s cool she looks like you! I have a question, but it’s personal…Would you tell your baby about his or her biological mother? Did you choose a donor with such appearance just to avoid questions?


#12

Agreed with you, we also failed cycles of ivf and that was awful, our last try was the conception with the de. And out clinic gave us a great opportunity to choose the donor from the database. We see lots of women and could select the 3 who was similar to me. The same colour of the hair, the eyes, eve smile. We had a short video-presentation from them and also some general information so we were satisfied with the service we had. Our doctor chose the best woman for us, with the perfect health’s state and development. I don’t want to say that other women were sick but as for us it was the perfect donor. As far as I know all women here are under some requirements. So you can be sure, they are healthy and mentally strong, and as for you question, sorry for my rude interruption, but if I were on her place I would tell a truth to a baby no matter how the child would react. Everyone has a right to know the truth… sorry one more time.


#13

Hello, minerva71! congrats on your first steps!! As far as I understand you had your ET not so long ago?? Because my beta is in a few days. have you tested already?? Any news??


#14

I’m PREGNANT!!! Omg! I’m so so so excited! It seems I can already feel my babies inside…I’m going crazy lol!
I’m sorry for being so emotional and maybe some of you are not fond of ‘bfp things’…


#15

[QUOTE=“minerva71, post: 1869774, member: 87369”]I’m PREGNANT!!! Omg! I’m so so so excited! It seems I can already feel my babies inside…I’m going crazy lol!
I’m sorry for being so emotional and maybe some of you are not fond of ‘bfp things’…[/QUOTE]
Ha! I am so happy for you! well done hun!
I doubt there is anyone who would feel bad after reading someone’s BFP stories, of course there are women who struggle with their tx but I am sure everyone can find a word of congratulation for you!
I am so so happy that you have broken this circle of just trying and trying.


#16

[QUOTE=“minerva71, post: 1869755, member: 87369”]yes! it’s individual issue and I didn’t even think it could be too hard or even impossible option for infertile couples. It’s me who is new in all this. But many women have been through so many rounds…and they’re still ttc on their own or without donor egg. It’s incredibly brave as for me.
Isn’t it a common thing? Choosing donor must be a usual thing, right? I had an access to donor database and among hundreds of nice women I chose those, who I felt were great. It’s cool she looks like you! I have a question, but it’s personal…Would you tell your baby about his or her biological mother? Did you choose a donor with such appearance just to avoid questions?[/QUOTE]
no it is not a common thing actually as far as I know most of the women choose the anonymous donors whom they cannot choose bc that like guaranteed their safety i don’t know how. i was also taken aback when I found out that in Holland for example kids have the right for the information on the donor. basically, i think that it is okay and but I wouldn’t want my baby to look for his biological mother as I think that it is kind of pointless you know as I should be considered as his own mom without any doubts and questions. I won’t be telling my baby about the donor thing as because I think it is bad for the psychic of a baby. maybe when my kid is 20 or something when he is ready to critically comprehend what I am saying. and when it won’t make any difference to him.
the real question is that will you tell your child about all this IVF thing?


#17

[QUOTE=“Gwineth, post: 1869890, member: 87471”]Ha! I am so happy for you! well done hun!
I doubt there is anyone who would feel bad after reading someone’s BFP stories, of course there are women who struggle with their tx but I am sure everyone can find a word of congratulation for you!
I am so so happy that you have broken this circle of just trying and trying.[/QUOTE]

Thank you!! I’m so glad it worked, although it’s my first IVF ever…I didn’t actually expect this could be successful at once.
And regarding egg donors, well they are also anonymous, although I had a possibility to see their photos and main information. We don’t know donors’ names or places they live. If I’m not mistaken it means they are anon. I can’t imagine howit is, not know who is your donor and how she looks like. it’s ridiculous! Oh…you won’t tell your child about it. It’s a complex and delicate matter, anyway. I’ve seen a poll devoted to this somewhere and almost every woman was against keeping the truth away from children. It’s hard to say what way I will choose. On the one hand, I want my kid(s) to know everything and don’t want to live in lies, but from the other hand, you have a point, it may be harmful for children. Such truth is not too easy to take. . . I think I’ll have an answer when it comes to this.


#18

@minerva71
why? I know that for many women their first ivf turn out to be unsuccessful but there are still women who get their kiddos out from the first try and I am glad that you are one of them!
same for me as I was glad that I could choose a donor regarding her looks and even personality, this was a huge relieve for me that I could choose the looks of the woman who were going to donate her egg cells for me.
but I am also sure that there is no point of keeping it as a secret especially when you are building a family and raising a child. i think it is a matter of education if we manage to raise our kids open-minded they will understand everything easily and we would be very happy to not have to act like there is no hidden truth
too bad that in my clinic donors are anonymous as I think that my kid should know who his biological mother is.


#19

[QUOTE=“Gwineth, post: 1870191, member: 87471”]@minerva71
why? I know that for many women their first ivf turn out to be unsuccessful but there are still women who get their kiddos out from the first try and I am glad that you are one of them!
same for me as I was glad that I could choose a donor regarding her looks and even personality, this was a huge relieve for me that I could choose the looks of the woman who were going to donate her egg cells for me.
but I am also sure that there is no point of keeping it as a secret especially when you are building a family and raising a child. i think it is a matter of education if we manage to raise our kids open-minded they will understand everything easily and we would be very happy to not have to act like there is no hidden truth
too bad that in my clinic donors are anonymous as I think that my kid should know who his biological mother is.[/QUOTE]

it’s been a while since I visited the forum. I’m glad to receive your reply. Looking through different threads I concluded that there are more women who are not able to become pregnant from the first try. maybe I wasn’t sure because of my age. I’m sure that women itheir 20-30s get their bfps more often then those at the age of 40+. Anyways, I’ve got it and there is no need to complain about anything.
uum…maybe I get it wrong, but you’ve told me that you wouldn’t tell your baby till he/she is 20 or so. but then you are telling that “there is no point of keeping it as a secret especially when you are building a family and raising a child”. I’m a bit confused.
As for me, I like the idea of anonymous donors. maybe it’s because i try to imagine myself walking a mile in egg donor’s shoes…It’s also an issue of various opinions


#20

[QUOTE=“minerva71, post: 1870348, member: 87369”]it’s been a while since I visited the forum. I’m glad to receive your reply. Looking through different threads I concluded that there are more women who are not able to become pregnant from the first try. maybe I wasn’t sure because of my age. I’m sure that women itheir 20-30s get their bfps more often then those at the age of 40+. Anyways, I’ve got it and there is no need to complain about anything.
uum…maybe I get it wrong, but you’ve told me that you wouldn’t tell your baby till he/she is 20 or so. but then you are telling that “there is no point of keeping it as a secret especially when you are building a family and raising a child”. I’m a bit confused.
As for me, I like the idea of anonymous donors. maybe it’s because i try to imagine myself walking a mile in egg donor’s shoes…It’s also an issue of various opinions[/QUOTE]

Hello dear! It made me so happy to read your replies! You were so desperate when you’ve just started your thread. It’s great you’re moving forward. You’ve made a great work to reach your dream. I had a mc 7 years ago. That was a time when I lost my child and faced infertility. I had ivf with de in 2014. I’ve got pregnant from the first attempt and it seemed like a miracle! Our girls were born in May 2015. I’m so happy we made this step. We decided not to tell our girls about donor. I carried them and I consider myself as their only mother. I wish you all the best!