Had one fresh and one frozen transfer in 2011, both of which failed. I’m 41. Had a consultation with our RE to discuss next steps and he said that even though the attempts didn’t result in a live birth, he thinks that we should try IVF again (with my own eggs) because my body responded very well to all the meds and because we had a better than expected outcome of number of eggs retrieved, fertilized, etc. given my age. He thinks that we would just adjust the number of embryos transferred. We only did 2 each time because I was in a clinical study that restricted the number of embryos to be transferred. He thinks we would transfer 3 or 4 to give us better odds.
I found an egg donor who is a great match for me, physical characteristics, ethnic background, even height. But she is through an agency, which will be an added $11,000. (Versus through my clinic, which would only be an added $5,000 to the total cost of the IVF.)
Our insurance does not cover ANY fertility, not even diagnostics. And we live in a state that does not require employers to carry insurance that covers it.
I’m leaning toward just using the egg donor and skipping over trying to use my own eggs. The odds go from something like 13% with my own eggs to 60% with a donor (she’s 25). The main reason being the odds and also that we do not have a lot of money to spend on it, so I’d rather put the money on the one with better odds.
But there’s this part of me that thinks, well, it could still happen with my own. It’s not that the child HAS to have my DNA-- I’m certain I would love a child conceived with a donor egg. My main hesitation, and really the only hesitation I have, about using an egg donor is telling the child how he/she was conceived and wondering how I will feel in the future if he/she wants to locate the donor or any half siblings. Part of the hesitation is that it would just be EASIER if the child had MY DNA instead of having to explain all this to not only the child but family and friends.
Anyone else out there in a similar situation or had been in a similar situation? What were your decisions? What was the outcome? Would you do it again? Do you regret any decisions you made?
Thank you for taking the time to read this.