When did you finally feel like you could "exhale"?


Hi Ladies -

Just wanted to share some opinions/experiences for fun. I feel like us fertility women go thru so much anxiety even after we get our BFPs. Most women I know who have not had fertility problems get excited and start planning for baby once the pee dries! I’m just wondering…when did you finally “exhale” and say “Yay! I’m really going to have a baby!” How many weeks were you? Or was it not until you had the little one in your arms? What did it take to get to that point?

For me…after a m/c in my past pregnancy I was a frantic anxiety ridden mess the first 12 weeks. Every ultrasound I would go in for they would take my blood pressure and it would be so high due to nerves. I was just waiting for that bad news…after 12 weeks I felt a little more comfortable and we started telling people. But then I started spotting…till about 15 weeks! I was a nervous wreck again. I am finally almost 20 weeks and had my mid-pregnancy scan (everything looked good!) and for the first time feeling like I AM HAVING TWO BABIES! And I can finally at least breath and get ready for their birth.



I think I finally starting thinking it was really going to happen around week 28. :slight_smile:


summerbaby, I know exactly how you feel…I’m only 14 weeks, but the first 12 weeks were the most nerve wracking for me…we would have an u/s every week with our RE for about 8 weeks and at each visit I was soooooo nervous and just anticipating bad news to come, I know crazy…then between 8-12 weeks, there was no u/s scheduled and I had no idea if everything was ok or not…then had the NT scan around the end of the 12th week, and that was so amazing, I couldn’t believe how much my babies had grown…that’s when I started to feel a little better about things and started to tell more people about the pregnancy…I’m still nervous about things, and I guess I won’t feel like I’m in the safe zone until I have the babies in my arms but even then new worries will pop up…guess the cycle never ends really, as parents, we will always be worried for our children…


Every lead-up to an ultrasound is like torture for me, just hoping everything is ok. I think I’m driving my wife a little nuts with my paranoia, constantly asking her about her symptoms and needing reassurances that she is “feeling pregnant”, but I’m trying to stay positive! She is much more calm than me. But since she has had two miscarriages it’s hard to get our hopes up.

She is spotting too which is causing me to worry. She started spotting around week 6, and we had an ultrasound and everything was fine with the twins and she stopped spotting a few days later. She started spotting (brown) again at little before week 12 and it hasn’t stopped…(we are about 13 weeks now). At our 12 week ultrasound the doctor said a small part of her placenta was a little detached which was causing the bleeding, but that he didn’t see a cause for concern and everything looked perfectly normal.

Anyways, she’s now starting to show a little which makes me so happy because we’ve never gotten to this point. I constantly want to feel her belly. I love it. I just think I will be a nervous wreck the entire pregnancy. But my mission is to just keep her calm and take care of her. Once those babies are in my arms and I can see they are ok - alive and breathing, then I will breathe a sigh of relief…



I dont think it truly ever ends! I have an 18 month old and I worry about her all the time. We want them so bad that we are scared they are going to get taken away from us.

One of my concerns now for this pregnancy is the cord around the babies neck. With Hailey they had to do an emergency c-section bc with every push her heart rate dropped. When they pulled her out she had it wrapped around her neck twice!!! I dont want to scare any one but it never ends!!!


[B]Summer the worry never ever ends, fertile , not fertile, miscarriage, no miscarry, healthy, not healthy so on and so on. When I saw my third positive on the stick…I did relax…I like knew it in my heart this was going to be different . But there’s always worrying even in labor. Even after the baby comes :flower: [/B]


I think of it as a lost of innocence. I remember the first time I found out I was pregnant (back in 2006) I put the pregnancy test under my DH pillow. The next day called the dr. and they said to come in around 12 weeks. I just thought well this is it. I called close family and friends. And then nothing happened. I felt completely normal. I went in to the ER and my HCG was 26. Ha I didn’t even know what that was and the er doc said well anything above 5 is pregnant (obviously it should have been way higher I would have been around 7 weeks!) This is when reality hits and was the start of my infertility nightmares. Point of that story is if you have’t gone through infertility or miscarriages you have no reason to worry. As most of our family and friends they plan for the baby immediately. My heart has been broken so many times that I won’t even tell people until I have to. When DH and I talk about it its “if this works out” or “hopefully”. My DH likes to say “your worrying doesn’t change a thing” but you can’t help it.

With my last pregnancy I was nervous wreck and it turns out that if my dr. didn’t listen to me and do the extra scans. My DD would have been stillborn. I had blood clotting factors that we didn’t know about and there were multiple blood clots in the placenta. My DR. used to say if you are concerned then I am. He gave me extra scans and low and behold her fluid started to drop. He told me that most people find out about blood issues because of a loss. We are so lucky she was born at 35 weeks. Its part of who we become and you know maybe it does serve a purpose. It did in my DD’s life.

Thats not to scare anyone as we are all different, but with this pregnancy I am going to find a dr. that will listen to my concerns and I am demanding an ultrasound at least once a month. And of course as I am typing this I am think well if I get that far.

Best of luck to all of us and let us worry its part of protecting our children!:babydust: :babydust: :babydust: :babydust: :babydust:


I’ve started to feel sporadic movement and that helps me to feel better about the pregnancy. However, I know there’s still plenty of time left and anything could happen and I’m trying to be cautious. I agree with one of the other posters who said there’s always going to be something to be concerned about, even months and years after the birth.

What’s annoying is when people say “just relax” (turns out that saying isn’t just overused when TTC). By the way, the people who say this are those who’ve either never been pregnant or got pregnant naturally free of charge and went on to have complicated-free pregnancies and a full-term baby.


I am a little over 22weeks. Since my BFP I’ve never stopped worrying. I wanted to continue with my regular exercise and such but had bleeding early on. At my 12week appt my OB said I could go back to yoga and such bc baby was healthy. I did, but then at 13weeks I bleed again, and alot more. So I stopped and have not gone back to any physical activity beside walking.
It’s hard for us ladies that had problems concieving to not worry. All the time, tears, stress, money, rollercoaster, and to just get our minds to relax is almost impossible for us.
Now at 22weeks, I still worry, baby started kicking so if i dont feel her for a couple hours I start poking my belly just so she responds. Like others said, I will prob not relax until she is born. And then it’s a different type of worry when baby is born.
Try to keep positive!! Even though it can be hard. Congrats on your pregnancy!!