I set out defining the feminist dilemma: Why do women choose IVF in spite of low success and high risk? But I soon realized that my way of putting the question was different from the way the women would have done. They did not try IVF “in spite of they did it “because of.” They continually answered my questions: “Why did you choose IVF,” and later: “Why do you continue IVF?” with this simple statement: “Because I want a child.” To want a child and try to have it is an exercise of the reproductive freedom that the feminist movement has argued for since its very beginning. The decision to have a child at age 30 may be seen as a natural succession to the decision to contracept at 18, to have an abortion at 20; in other words, to avail oneself of the medicotechnical services of the health system – first to avoid having a child, later to have one. 4 The wish for a child has often been commented on by those of us who are critical of the new reproductive technologies. 5 This wish, we argue, is socially constructed, and should not be considered a biological need. We state that there is a contradiction between society’s priority of medical solutions to infertility and the socially constructed wish for a child. The research that has been undertaken to demonstrate this contradiction in health policy decisions is of great importance sociologically and politically, but it leaves out an important problem; unless we accept a view of women who seek IVF as mere victims of social norms and influences the nature of the wish for a child for the individual women must be considered an authentic wish.
I’ve just noticed your post concerning IVF. You are right, most of women just want to have a baby. They don’t think about pure goal of the motherhood. To my mind, the motherhood doesn’t come naturally to all women. It’s just that, in some places, they aren’t allowed to express themselves and even if they do, no one believes them or value their feelings. As for what women who want children want for their families…well, heck, that’s going to be an absolutely unique answer for each woman.
I wanted to get pregnant because once I felt it’s time, it’s time to give my love to somebody, I needed someone to take care about. And we started our long journey as I couldn’t get pregnant naturally. We opted for a surrogacy(sorry, I know it’s a bit different thread) and found our place. Now we are pregnant and I have no regrets about it. Thanks my clinic(biotex) we would be parents soon.