Worst Day Ever..so far


#1

Well yesterday I found out that after 8 months on medication to raise my testosterone level and my sperm count didn’t do a good enough job. I mean my testosterone level increased from 200 to over 940 and my sperm quantity increased from 200,000 to 700,000, but not enough to do IUI. So now we have to figure out how to afford IVF. The worst part about all this though is my Dad, who is super Catholic, is against IVF and started talking about how it would put a wedge between us. Don’t get me wrong, I am not letting that discourage me from getting it, but it would be nice to have support from my own father during what is easily the most difficult time in my life.

My wife and I are meeting with the reproductive specialist at Delaware Reproductive Associates sometime this week or next week to discuss IVF…Praying that it works the first time…

Me: 23/M --Low Sperm Count, Bad Morphology, Bad motility

Wife: 26/F–No issues

TTC for about 2 years


#2

Im so sorry to read about this. Just know that God has plans for you and your wife. Dont let anyone make you feel bad for trying to have a baby… If IVF is your option… go for it. I will be praying for you and your family. :pray:
Best wishes!!


#3

Don’t worry about not telling your family about going through IVF. Even if they are supportive about it, they will nag you about every little progress you and your wife make throughout the process. If you’re not getting good news from your doctor you dont really want to talk about it with anybody except with your spouse. My DH and I kept it to ourselves and it’s the best decision we ever made.


#4

I’m sorry about your dad, but if IVF works he’ll love your kid and not care how he got here. My DH is Catholic and talked to his very conservative priest when we were about to do IVF. The priest encouraged us to do IVF, and said that the Church wasn’t opposed to medical assistance in starting life, but in ending it. So really the fear was about what would happen to unused embryos. We were going to do IVF anyway, but I know my DH felt better to k ow his priest was on board.


#5

I’m sorry you are going through this and dealing with family not being supportive on top of it. People who have never had to make these hard decisions just don’t understand. I’m glad you’re not letting his feelings stop you, but I understand that it hurts for him to say that it would put a wedge between you and him. I suggest not telling him anymore about the process and your plans. You and your wife don’t need the extra stress. If IVF is successful, he doesn’t need to know how your wife got pregnant. Miracles do happen, even at-home pregnancies for people who are told it will never happen. I’m not saying that will happen, but maybe what your dad doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Best of luck to you and your wife!!


#6

We had a similar situation with my father in law who felt when I (me and my husband) got pregnant at 18 that we should abort the baby. Of course being a christian I do not believe in abortion so ignored his opinion and of course so did my husband who very much wanted this child despite it being unplanned. My son ended up being born prematurely and so my father in law came to the hospital and saw him in the NICU. Said it completely changed his heart and made him feel guilty he ever insisted we have an abortion. So…God changed his heart!

Flash forward 19yrs and me and my husband are still married have three boys and now finally pregnant with a girl.

:pray:'ing that God will change his heart and help him to know how to support you, but even if that never happens :pray:'ing that the IVF works. I know how tough it is. It was devastating for us too to learn that after three pregnancies with little problems getting pregnant my husband developed antisperm antibodies and so it was either donor sperm for us or IVF w/ICSI. We had to save and was finally able to do a round and got pregnant the first try. :cross: that it works for you the first try too. :flower:

Sending you lots of :grouphug: and :babydust: :babydust:


#7

I would also suggest that you or you and your wife look for a counselor who specializes in infertility issues. You’re right; you do need support, and since it doesn’t look like you’re likely to get it from your father, you might find it with a counselor. I went to one when my DH and I were struggling, and I remember the very first appointment, I walked out of there feeling like the sun was shining brighter. It’s easy to recognize how difficult it is and still somehow underestimate how much it’s affecting your whole life, all day, every day. Psychology Today’s website has a good search function to find therapists in your area and a list of their specialties.


#8

Thank you everyone for your support and good wishes, it really helps to know there are other people who know exactly how you feel.

@kst, thats good that his priest was supportive, my mom is going to try and talk to the priest at there church to maybe talk to my dad about the whole thing…

My wife and I have our first consultation at the fertility center next week, so here goes nothing!


#9

I just wanted to wish you luck and let you know that in my experience, the church wasn’t against IVF. There was a great post I read in the “Catholic and TTC” board about appropriate options for any embroys created through IVF. I wish I could recall the details but I’m sure if you search for it in the upper right hand corner you will find it. It talked about embroy donation, putting them back into the uterus at a later date etc …

For us, it didn’t matter as the only embroy that survived was / is our beautiful miracle daughter. (Nothing to freeze)

Additionaly, just my opinion, if you are religious, the IVF process is still VERY much in the hands of God. IVF is no guarantee of conception or a successfull pregnancy. (not to be a Debbie Downer ;)) God is present in the process, in fact I think we see him even more clearly in it!

Best of luck and stay strong.


#10

Jmp123 - I know I Am about a year late. We are in process with RAD for IVF due to MFI as well and have nothing but wonderful things to say about the team. I hope your experience was the same!