As many of you know, I am here because I am trying to get pregnant and have the children I KNOW I am meant to have- like many of you KNOW as well.
In the past year of my journey TTC, I, like many of you, have met people that tell me how I need to wait for the right time. A sentence that makes us all pull our hairs out.
Yesterday, I had a conversation with my best friend. She is a beautiful 50+ year old woman, native american, mother of 2. She and I believe that we are soul sisters. She is the type of friend we all need, the type that enjoys talking about life and all its beauty, the type that understands LIFE.
I am visiting in the US- where she lives, and so yesterday I told her about my TTC and treatments. I also told her about the “friend” who recently told me I love too much and that I am not emotionally ready to have children. This is what my friend- my earth/life loving friend said to me:
The “friend” is a bad apple, I need to get rid of it ([B]Ray of Sunshine if you read this, you were right![/B])
There is nothing wrong with loving so much, or having such a big heart that all we want to do is give our love and have our children.
She told me she is glad I am going through the fertility treatments. Because this are the steps I need to take to show my self that I am doing EVERYTHING I can to bring my children into this world. She said this is something WE (us, all the ladies that are TTC and dealing with unexplained Infertility) need to do to help us get through it.
Then she said the best thing I have ever heard.
"Honey, you need to be patient ( I was about to scream at this time, then she continued)- See, we humans think it is always about US, that we should have children when WE are ready, when WE feel ready. But sweetheart, we are all born on OUR time. We come to this life, when WE are supposed to. Not when our parents are ready or when they want us, we are born when we are meant to start our lives. There is a specific point in time when WE are supposed to be born. That is why a lot of women get pregnant and complain that they were not ready, they did not want that, they were not expecting it, but they fail to see that it has nothing to do with THEM, it was the time for this child to be born and come into the world.
So see honey, it is great that you are trying, and that you make it so obvious that you want to see your children, but don’t forget that it just may not be THEIR time to arrive here. It has nothing to do with you. "
To be honest, when she told me that… I was crying and I heard it and said “yes I know”… but it was not until I woke up, went to the bathroom and on my way out it HIT ME… I understood what she said. It is not about me. I hope some of you don’t get angry or annoyed with me, I am just trying to share something I learned today. Something that made me realize WOW, that is why I cannot control it, because it is not about my life, it is the life of my children.
I feel soooo different. So relaxed. It makes so much sense to me. And now all I can say is… "my babies, my children… I am sorry for pushing you to come here, when it may not be the right time for you. I will wait patiently, and know that I did everything I could to get you here, but I now respect the fact that you will come to me, when it is time for your life to start.
Ladies, I believe we are meant to be mothers. Our time WILL come. And we will be the best mothers because we love our children since before they were born and they know and will know that.
I hope you all have a great day. :babydust::babydust: and :grouphug: to all of you!